Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
