Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
