I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
