WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
