why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
