Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
