people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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