Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
