It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
