Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
