She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
