It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I need a burrito and a hug.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
