I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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