Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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