They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Randomize
