Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
