i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
