Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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