And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
