I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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