I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
