Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
