I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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