Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
