im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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