you didnt know i had herpes?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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