I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
