I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
