I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That accounts for only three of the penises
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
