I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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