This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
