I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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