yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
