I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Are we still banned from the library?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
