He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
