I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
