It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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