He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
