Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
