love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
