ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
