i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
