Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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