He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
this will be a night to untag.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
