There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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