Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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