mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
