No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
