if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
