Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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