K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
